Momos 'R Us
You WERE going to get a rant about SUVs and Minivans tonight, but I have been pulled in another direction entirely. Working for a bank, you see a lot of stupid people. I mean STUPID! Or as we like to refer to them, momos. I could do three rants a day every day and still not cover all of the momos I encounter on a daily basis. But since the momos I will be screaming about happened to walk in at the same time I was logging in to blogger, they will be immortalized here tonight.
Enter a man and a woman who are obviously not originally from this country. I mention this only to emphasize that they both had heavy accents (and I'm not even going to get into what nationality they were because that has nothing to do with the issue at hand) and it was very hard for me to understand exactly what they were saying. When they first entered they went to the desk in the back where all the deposit and withdrawal slips are. I figured they wanted a teller and went about my business.
Then the gentleman came towards me with a puzzled look on his face. I immediately greeted him with a smile and asked if there was anything I could help him with (I know, I know, you're all laughing at me. This may go against everything I believe in, but hell, they pay me, so I gotta fake it for the paycheck). He began to explain something to me that I could barely make out. After a minute or so I was able to get that his wife wanted to transfer money from her savings into her checking. Being the ever helpful customer service rep that I am, I offered him several different ways to transfer the money. Via ATM, telephone, online, and by filling out a withdrawal and deposit ticket at the teller counter. They opted for the ATM. I figure that was that, and my work was done. I even handed them brochures on our online system and 24-hour customer service 800 number for next time.
A minute or two later they were back. This time the woman came up to me. It appeared that she had forgotten her pin number for the ATM and wanted to know if I could look it up. Ok, does everyone know what PIN stands for? Say it with me people...PRIVATE identification number. If I had a list of every customer's PIN number, they wouldn't be very private, would they? So, I explain that those numbers are not kept on file. Of course this annoys the woman and she asks how she's supposed to use her card now. So I reply that I can make her a new card with a new PIN number very easily, and have it ready for her in 5 minutes. You would think this was a positive thing. But no, she decided to keep her card and try to remember the number. Because that should take much less time than 5 minutes...but whatever.
So now they decide to just go ahead and do the transaction with the teller (they had already poo-pooed the idea of using the online system, because apparently that was too dangerous). They asked if I had a transfer form. Even though I had already explained to them that they had to fill out a withdrawal and deposit slip, I politely explained again with a smile on my face.
Then the gentleman chimes in again. "Is that safe?" I admit, my eyes might have bugged out a bit at this question, but I quickly recovered. "Yes sir, it's very safe. I assure you our tellers are very cautious and good at their jobs." But he's not buying it. "Wouldn't it be safer to have one form for all of the information? What if they put it in the wrong account?" So I explain that if they ever do any other transactions at the teller counter, whether it be a withdrawal or deposit, it's done the same way. It's just as safe.
He shakes his head and says, "No, there is too much chance for a mistake. You need a transfer form." At this point, my fake smile is starting to hurt because I've begun grinding my teeth. I can feel my face getting red and all the comments I'm dieing to make are rising to the tip of my tongue. All I wanted to do was scream, "YOU FUCKING IDIOT! WE DON'T HAVE A TRANSFER FORM! HOW FUCKING HARD IS IT FOR THE TELLER TO TAKE THE MONEY OUT OF ONE ACCOUNT AND PUT IT INTO ANOTHER? YOU STUPID FUCKING MOMO! DON'T YOU REALIZE IT'S THE SAME PROCESS WHETHER IT'S ON ONE PIECE OF PAPER OR TWO? IF YOU'RE GOING TO ARGUE, MAKE IT SENSIBLE. YELL AT US FOR KILLING TREES OR SOMETHING! SHUT THE FUCK UP, MAKE YOUR TRANSACTION, AND GET THE HELL OUT OF HERE BEFORE I SHOVE MY FOOT SO FAR UP YOUR ASS YOU TASTE LEATHER!"
Just as I was about to burst, the teller finished with the customer she had, so the wife scooted over to do the transfer. They left shortly thereafter and my rage subsided. The really sad thing is, this isn't rare. These weren't even the worst momos that I've dealt with. In fact, they were a piece of cake compared to what we usually get.
Retail...gotta love it! I'm so glad I'm a people person.
Well, time to close up the bank, so I'm gonna hit the road. I just have to remember that for every momo I deal with, I'm that much more motivated to get my novel finished and get the hell out of this business.
Till next time...
Enter a man and a woman who are obviously not originally from this country. I mention this only to emphasize that they both had heavy accents (and I'm not even going to get into what nationality they were because that has nothing to do with the issue at hand) and it was very hard for me to understand exactly what they were saying. When they first entered they went to the desk in the back where all the deposit and withdrawal slips are. I figured they wanted a teller and went about my business.
Then the gentleman came towards me with a puzzled look on his face. I immediately greeted him with a smile and asked if there was anything I could help him with (I know, I know, you're all laughing at me. This may go against everything I believe in, but hell, they pay me, so I gotta fake it for the paycheck). He began to explain something to me that I could barely make out. After a minute or so I was able to get that his wife wanted to transfer money from her savings into her checking. Being the ever helpful customer service rep that I am, I offered him several different ways to transfer the money. Via ATM, telephone, online, and by filling out a withdrawal and deposit ticket at the teller counter. They opted for the ATM. I figure that was that, and my work was done. I even handed them brochures on our online system and 24-hour customer service 800 number for next time.
A minute or two later they were back. This time the woman came up to me. It appeared that she had forgotten her pin number for the ATM and wanted to know if I could look it up. Ok, does everyone know what PIN stands for? Say it with me people...PRIVATE identification number. If I had a list of every customer's PIN number, they wouldn't be very private, would they? So, I explain that those numbers are not kept on file. Of course this annoys the woman and she asks how she's supposed to use her card now. So I reply that I can make her a new card with a new PIN number very easily, and have it ready for her in 5 minutes. You would think this was a positive thing. But no, she decided to keep her card and try to remember the number. Because that should take much less time than 5 minutes...but whatever.
So now they decide to just go ahead and do the transaction with the teller (they had already poo-pooed the idea of using the online system, because apparently that was too dangerous). They asked if I had a transfer form. Even though I had already explained to them that they had to fill out a withdrawal and deposit slip, I politely explained again with a smile on my face.
Then the gentleman chimes in again. "Is that safe?" I admit, my eyes might have bugged out a bit at this question, but I quickly recovered. "Yes sir, it's very safe. I assure you our tellers are very cautious and good at their jobs." But he's not buying it. "Wouldn't it be safer to have one form for all of the information? What if they put it in the wrong account?" So I explain that if they ever do any other transactions at the teller counter, whether it be a withdrawal or deposit, it's done the same way. It's just as safe.
He shakes his head and says, "No, there is too much chance for a mistake. You need a transfer form." At this point, my fake smile is starting to hurt because I've begun grinding my teeth. I can feel my face getting red and all the comments I'm dieing to make are rising to the tip of my tongue. All I wanted to do was scream, "YOU FUCKING IDIOT! WE DON'T HAVE A TRANSFER FORM! HOW FUCKING HARD IS IT FOR THE TELLER TO TAKE THE MONEY OUT OF ONE ACCOUNT AND PUT IT INTO ANOTHER? YOU STUPID FUCKING MOMO! DON'T YOU REALIZE IT'S THE SAME PROCESS WHETHER IT'S ON ONE PIECE OF PAPER OR TWO? IF YOU'RE GOING TO ARGUE, MAKE IT SENSIBLE. YELL AT US FOR KILLING TREES OR SOMETHING! SHUT THE FUCK UP, MAKE YOUR TRANSACTION, AND GET THE HELL OUT OF HERE BEFORE I SHOVE MY FOOT SO FAR UP YOUR ASS YOU TASTE LEATHER!"
Just as I was about to burst, the teller finished with the customer she had, so the wife scooted over to do the transfer. They left shortly thereafter and my rage subsided. The really sad thing is, this isn't rare. These weren't even the worst momos that I've dealt with. In fact, they were a piece of cake compared to what we usually get.
Retail...gotta love it! I'm so glad I'm a people person.
Well, time to close up the bank, so I'm gonna hit the road. I just have to remember that for every momo I deal with, I'm that much more motivated to get my novel finished and get the hell out of this business.
Till next time...
posted by Meghan at 7:47 PM
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