Better Late Than Never
Ok, so you guys know how busy I've been lately, right? Well, it seems that I've been so crazed that I forgot to tell you all about KeeneCon III. I apologize. Luckily, one of my more psychotic readers reminded me of this today, and I promised this individual that I would post about it tonight. So, since I am afraid of being stabbed by a stalker, I am now going to give my official Con report. :) This one is dedicated to you...stabby...you know who you are. "Nothing beats the hobo life...stabbing people with my hobo knife!" ~The Simpsons
Ok...so we (being my hubby Fran, Markus, and myself) get in to Pennsyltucky at about 6:30 PM on the 4th of July. The ride was pleasant and Fran and I didn't have any screaming matches like we usually do on road trips. I have to thank Markus for that one. He has this calming effect on us. :) Anyhoo, we freshen up at the hotel and head to Journey's End (aka Keene's abode) about 7. I get to meet little DB (gives you looks just like his father...they have their hands full) who is wearing a Jets t-shirt already. He is definitely one of the cutest babies I have ever seen. We make some small talk, then head to a diner. Keene and Coop harass the waitress for awhile, but she was a good sport. Even when I offered her a 60% tip, she still wouldn't smack Keene and Coop with the ketchup bottle. Couldn't hurt to try.
We ended up seeing fireworks not far from where Keene lives. They were very long, and much nicer than the ones around here. Of course that little girl behind us that sounded so cute when she screamed "I love them" and "Yay!" every time a new one exploded did lose her cuteness after an hour of the screeching. And Brian and I found Wendy the Retard's long lost sister. But we had a great time. It was around midnight by the time we got back to Keene's. That's when the drinking began.
So the three of us, Keene, and Joe started plowing them back as Coop watched with a grin and the lovely ladies, Cassie and Deb, hung out with DB in the other room. I was drinking pussy wine, Arbor Mist. But even pussy wine gets you drunk after drinking half the bottle. I'm not sure what went on that night, I'm just sure I was ripped off my ass. I do remember Fran and Keene telling me I wasn't allowed to have anymore...and Coop piping in in the backgound, "just get her another glass!" I think he was curious how many licks it would take till I completely lost my center of gravity.
We trudged back to the hotel around 2ish. Fran has this habbit of turning on the TV while he falls asleep. I guess he needs the background noise. It just destracts me. He put on ESPN because he knows I'm never interested in anything that they put on. Only that night it was the International Spelling Bee Championship. Yes, I watched the whole damn thing until past 3 in the morning. I was pissed that 9 year olds were spelling words I had never even heard of. It was an interesting experience.
Flash forward to 10:00 am, my hotel phone rings. I answer. It's Brian.
"Hey, you still sleeping?"
"Yes Brian."
"Well everyone's here. We're all waiting for you!"
"What?"
"Yeah, people arrived early, hurry up and get over here!"
At this point I sit up and start fumbling around for my cigarettes, trying to wake myself up. "Uh...ok," I manage say.
"Nah, I'm just fucking with you. It's just me and Joe."
Mental note...destroy Brian. Now I'm up. So I get Fran up and call Markus's room. He sounds like I feel. We get our act together, go get more liquor, and head to Keene's. I immediately start back in with the Arbor Mist. Shit, I still hadn't completely sobered up from the night before. I figure, it did well the night before...if it ain't broke, don't fix it. People start arriving.
I get to see some friends I hadn't seen in awhile: Matt, Deena, Roger, Sheri, Warner, Lee, Jacob, Paul ... and meet some new ones: Steve Lucak & family, Val and Diana, the brothers Lancaster, and lots more. I had a blast with little Lexi Lucak...we played the Hulk and Spiderman. She's one tough super hero. :)
The alcohol continued to flow and the BBQ was excellent. Brian is a master griller, I have to give him props for that. Most of the day we all just BSed and kept giving Roger more and more alcohol.
Warning: Never enlist the help of teenage boys to attempt to duct tape Coop to a chair. They turn on you! Then your shoes end up being duct taped together and held hostage and when you least expect it, you find yourself wrapped in duct tape. Side note: shoes have since been returned, unharmed.
Around 11ish we started to do some readings. That was a lot of fun. My name turned up in two stories and my story included both Steve's name, as well as Coop's middle name...both completely unintentionally. I wrote that story long before I knew Coop's middle name, and I had just met Steve that night. Funny how these things work out. I loved all the stories, but Brian's new short and the chapter from Steve's book "Oogie Boogie Central" really had me laughing. They were excellent! But perhaps the highlight of the evening was hearing Coop read "Turning Leaves." I had never heard him read before and I was told it was a rare occurrence. But that has always been one of my favorite Coop stories, so I really enjoyed hearing it live.
The night began to wind down and many people left. There were a handful of us left when Coop began preaching about POD publishing. When Uncle Coop speaks, it's funny how everyone silently listens. (and the insults flying between him and Keene definitely add to the fun) We headed out about 4 am and crashed hard. But we were up and out by 11 am. Back to Keene's we went, where we met up with Matt and Deena. Keene had been cleaning since early that morning, so he declined to come to the traditional Denny's breakfast. So we headed out to Denny's, managed to get there despite bad directions from Keene, and stuffed ourselves silly. I won Fran a Peter Chris (am I spelling that right?) Kiss doll from the claw machine. Then we made our way back to Jersey.
A fantastic, drunken, exhausting weekend. I took Monday off to recoup. My end of summer bash is coming up in August. I gotta one up Keene. It isn't going to be easy.
So there you have it. My official KeeneCon III report. :)
* Names and places have not been changed in order to laugh at the innocent.
Ok, so you guys know how busy I've been lately, right? Well, it seems that I've been so crazed that I forgot to tell you all about KeeneCon III. I apologize. Luckily, one of my more psychotic readers reminded me of this today, and I promised this individual that I would post about it tonight. So, since I am afraid of being stabbed by a stalker, I am now going to give my official Con report. :) This one is dedicated to you...stabby...you know who you are. "Nothing beats the hobo life...stabbing people with my hobo knife!" ~The Simpsons
Ok...so we (being my hubby Fran, Markus, and myself) get in to Pennsyltucky at about 6:30 PM on the 4th of July. The ride was pleasant and Fran and I didn't have any screaming matches like we usually do on road trips. I have to thank Markus for that one. He has this calming effect on us. :) Anyhoo, we freshen up at the hotel and head to Journey's End (aka Keene's abode) about 7. I get to meet little DB (gives you looks just like his father...they have their hands full) who is wearing a Jets t-shirt already. He is definitely one of the cutest babies I have ever seen. We make some small talk, then head to a diner. Keene and Coop harass the waitress for awhile, but she was a good sport. Even when I offered her a 60% tip, she still wouldn't smack Keene and Coop with the ketchup bottle. Couldn't hurt to try.
We ended up seeing fireworks not far from where Keene lives. They were very long, and much nicer than the ones around here. Of course that little girl behind us that sounded so cute when she screamed "I love them" and "Yay!" every time a new one exploded did lose her cuteness after an hour of the screeching. And Brian and I found Wendy the Retard's long lost sister. But we had a great time. It was around midnight by the time we got back to Keene's. That's when the drinking began.
So the three of us, Keene, and Joe started plowing them back as Coop watched with a grin and the lovely ladies, Cassie and Deb, hung out with DB in the other room. I was drinking pussy wine, Arbor Mist. But even pussy wine gets you drunk after drinking half the bottle. I'm not sure what went on that night, I'm just sure I was ripped off my ass. I do remember Fran and Keene telling me I wasn't allowed to have anymore...and Coop piping in in the backgound, "just get her another glass!" I think he was curious how many licks it would take till I completely lost my center of gravity.
We trudged back to the hotel around 2ish. Fran has this habbit of turning on the TV while he falls asleep. I guess he needs the background noise. It just destracts me. He put on ESPN because he knows I'm never interested in anything that they put on. Only that night it was the International Spelling Bee Championship. Yes, I watched the whole damn thing until past 3 in the morning. I was pissed that 9 year olds were spelling words I had never even heard of. It was an interesting experience.
Flash forward to 10:00 am, my hotel phone rings. I answer. It's Brian.
"Hey, you still sleeping?"
"Yes Brian."
"Well everyone's here. We're all waiting for you!"
"What?"
"Yeah, people arrived early, hurry up and get over here!"
At this point I sit up and start fumbling around for my cigarettes, trying to wake myself up. "Uh...ok," I manage say.
"Nah, I'm just fucking with you. It's just me and Joe."
Mental note...destroy Brian. Now I'm up. So I get Fran up and call Markus's room. He sounds like I feel. We get our act together, go get more liquor, and head to Keene's. I immediately start back in with the Arbor Mist. Shit, I still hadn't completely sobered up from the night before. I figure, it did well the night before...if it ain't broke, don't fix it. People start arriving.
I get to see some friends I hadn't seen in awhile: Matt, Deena, Roger, Sheri, Warner, Lee, Jacob, Paul ... and meet some new ones: Steve Lucak & family, Val and Diana, the brothers Lancaster, and lots more. I had a blast with little Lexi Lucak...we played the Hulk and Spiderman. She's one tough super hero. :)
The alcohol continued to flow and the BBQ was excellent. Brian is a master griller, I have to give him props for that. Most of the day we all just BSed and kept giving Roger more and more alcohol.
Warning: Never enlist the help of teenage boys to attempt to duct tape Coop to a chair. They turn on you! Then your shoes end up being duct taped together and held hostage and when you least expect it, you find yourself wrapped in duct tape. Side note: shoes have since been returned, unharmed.
Around 11ish we started to do some readings. That was a lot of fun. My name turned up in two stories and my story included both Steve's name, as well as Coop's middle name...both completely unintentionally. I wrote that story long before I knew Coop's middle name, and I had just met Steve that night. Funny how these things work out. I loved all the stories, but Brian's new short and the chapter from Steve's book "Oogie Boogie Central" really had me laughing. They were excellent! But perhaps the highlight of the evening was hearing Coop read "Turning Leaves." I had never heard him read before and I was told it was a rare occurrence. But that has always been one of my favorite Coop stories, so I really enjoyed hearing it live.
The night began to wind down and many people left. There were a handful of us left when Coop began preaching about POD publishing. When Uncle Coop speaks, it's funny how everyone silently listens. (and the insults flying between him and Keene definitely add to the fun) We headed out about 4 am and crashed hard. But we were up and out by 11 am. Back to Keene's we went, where we met up with Matt and Deena. Keene had been cleaning since early that morning, so he declined to come to the traditional Denny's breakfast. So we headed out to Denny's, managed to get there despite bad directions from Keene, and stuffed ourselves silly. I won Fran a Peter Chris (am I spelling that right?) Kiss doll from the claw machine. Then we made our way back to Jersey.
A fantastic, drunken, exhausting weekend. I took Monday off to recoup. My end of summer bash is coming up in August. I gotta one up Keene. It isn't going to be easy.
So there you have it. My official KeeneCon III report. :)
* Names and places have not been changed in order to laugh at the innocent.
posted by Meghan at 9:36 PM
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