Blue Monday
No, I'm not really blue, but there is something about Mondays that automatically puts e in a less-than-cheerful mood. I do have a few things that I'm down about. Like the fact that I'm missing Necon this year. We just couldn't afford it. $500 for two people...we're already in some major debt. Which leads me to my main source of melancholy.
Lack of funds. It sucks. Fran and I together make a pretty decent buck. We haven't started paying for the car yet (that's in February) and we haven't made any major purchases in the last few months. Yet somehow we have found ourselves in a shitheap of dept. For example, I'm just about caught up on bills that I hadn't paid in a few months. Not too soon either, since my oil company is threatening to shut off my heat. Which, when you think about it, doesn't matter much in the summer, but I do like my warm baths. My cell phone is probably about to be turned off, but I can pay for that on Friday (my next pay day). I've gotten the creditors down to only 2 companies that call on a daily basis trying to get ahold of me. "I'm sorry, Meghan's out for the evening, you just missed her. I'm her sister. Yes I'll take your number." I'm hoping that the bills situation will be taken care of this coming weekend.
However, then there is the issue of rent. There is an upside and a downside to renting from your parents. On the upside, if you don't have rent on the first of the month, it's no big deal. So rent is usually what takes a back seat. It's now July 14th. I still owe my parents half of last month's rent and all of this month's rent. And August is fast approaching. My parents aren't well-off. They do need the money, and I feel bad owing them. But a phone and electricity are just necessities that have to come first. And it sucks.
Maybe we wouldn't be in this position if we didn't insist on spending money we know we don't have to go out. Like 4th of July weekend. We spent over $200 on the hotel alone. But there was no way in hell I was going to miss a Keene party! (And I'm definitely glad I went!) But it did set us further back in the hole. This past Saturday night we celebrated my friend's birthday at a bar. We didn't have the money to plow back a lot of drinks, but we did anyway. Hell, I needed to have a good time!
So I can admit that when it comes to cash, I can be my own worst enemy. But I'm not ready to live in a house with no cable, no cell phone, no Internet, sitting at home night after night and not going out, ever. That's how it would have to be if I didn't want to constantly struggle. I dunno, I guess some things are worth struggling for sometimes. I just hope that I'm not sticking us further into a hole by freelancing. But I already have a couple of side jobs lined up, stuff I can do from home and other part-time stuff to make some quick cash.
I don't want to turn around a few months from now and think that quitting the Pit was a mistake. Sometimes you have to take a chance, especially when sanity is on the line. I can tell you this, I have been overflowing with story ideas since the Pit's huge boulder has been lifted off my back. Now I just need the time to write them. But August 2nd is coming. A whole new world awaits me. I just hope I'm prepared.
No, I'm not really blue, but there is something about Mondays that automatically puts e in a less-than-cheerful mood. I do have a few things that I'm down about. Like the fact that I'm missing Necon this year. We just couldn't afford it. $500 for two people...we're already in some major debt. Which leads me to my main source of melancholy.
Lack of funds. It sucks. Fran and I together make a pretty decent buck. We haven't started paying for the car yet (that's in February) and we haven't made any major purchases in the last few months. Yet somehow we have found ourselves in a shitheap of dept. For example, I'm just about caught up on bills that I hadn't paid in a few months. Not too soon either, since my oil company is threatening to shut off my heat. Which, when you think about it, doesn't matter much in the summer, but I do like my warm baths. My cell phone is probably about to be turned off, but I can pay for that on Friday (my next pay day). I've gotten the creditors down to only 2 companies that call on a daily basis trying to get ahold of me. "I'm sorry, Meghan's out for the evening, you just missed her. I'm her sister. Yes I'll take your number." I'm hoping that the bills situation will be taken care of this coming weekend.
However, then there is the issue of rent. There is an upside and a downside to renting from your parents. On the upside, if you don't have rent on the first of the month, it's no big deal. So rent is usually what takes a back seat. It's now July 14th. I still owe my parents half of last month's rent and all of this month's rent. And August is fast approaching. My parents aren't well-off. They do need the money, and I feel bad owing them. But a phone and electricity are just necessities that have to come first. And it sucks.
Maybe we wouldn't be in this position if we didn't insist on spending money we know we don't have to go out. Like 4th of July weekend. We spent over $200 on the hotel alone. But there was no way in hell I was going to miss a Keene party! (And I'm definitely glad I went!) But it did set us further back in the hole. This past Saturday night we celebrated my friend's birthday at a bar. We didn't have the money to plow back a lot of drinks, but we did anyway. Hell, I needed to have a good time!
So I can admit that when it comes to cash, I can be my own worst enemy. But I'm not ready to live in a house with no cable, no cell phone, no Internet, sitting at home night after night and not going out, ever. That's how it would have to be if I didn't want to constantly struggle. I dunno, I guess some things are worth struggling for sometimes. I just hope that I'm not sticking us further into a hole by freelancing. But I already have a couple of side jobs lined up, stuff I can do from home and other part-time stuff to make some quick cash.
I don't want to turn around a few months from now and think that quitting the Pit was a mistake. Sometimes you have to take a chance, especially when sanity is on the line. I can tell you this, I have been overflowing with story ideas since the Pit's huge boulder has been lifted off my back. Now I just need the time to write them. But August 2nd is coming. A whole new world awaits me. I just hope I'm prepared.
posted by Meghan at 11:23 AM
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home