Preparing For Hell Week
Ok, this post may seem odd considering my last post. But let me start by saying, I know cigarettes will kill me. I know it's a dirty habit and I shouldn't do it. That, however, does not change my opinion of the ban in New York. I still feel that the government is stepping on the toes of citizens. I still feel some rights are being squashed in favor of others. That being said...
I'm quitting. I know, go ahead, let your jaws hit the floor. I've been going through some rough times the past couple of months, and I didn't post about it. Now I feel that I can. Without getting too graphic, I was (and am) experiencing problems with my female plumbing. My monthly friend was acting very strangely. My doctor gave me a laundry list of possible reasons, one of which being the Big C. Of course, she felt that that was unlikely, but wanted to give me as much information as possible. Yesterday I went for my tests. She feels that it's nothing more than my body adjusting to my switch in bith control methods. But I'll have to wait for the test results to be completely sure. I made a deal with God the night before my appointment. I told him to get me through this without a life threatening illness and still able to have more children, and I'd never smoke again.
So here I am. It was pretty funny, I smoked the last cigarette in my pack just before getting to my doctor. I said it would be my last. My night went ok. My dad gave me a piece of his nicotine gum and told me to use it if I needed it. I got advice from Brian, who is on day 4 of his own hell week. I thought I could do it, no problem. Hell, I didn't even pop the gum last night. (Though I did do a shot of Nyquil, got to sleep fine. Thanks B!) :) This morning I pulled into the gas station. Told the guy to fill it up. Sat there, tapping my foot. Salivating over the thought of a cigarette. And I caved. I told him to throw in a pack of butts. I've had 3 today. Told myself I would give the rest of the pack to Fran when I got home. He'll never quit. He'll smoke 'em.
Then I remembered a commercial I had heard on the radio a few times. For NJ Quit Net (www.njquitnet.com). So I checked out the site. I joined. Not that I think this site alone will get me to kick the habit, but I can tell it will be helpful. Considering how much time I spend online, I have plenty of people who are going through it with me to talk to. Lots of tips on the site. And even a counter that will tell me how many cigarettes I *haven't* smoked, how much money I've saved, and how many days I've added on to my life. I learned that just saying you're going to quit and stopping isn't exactly the way to go. I learned that the best way for me to be successful is to use a medication to help me stop. I'm going to use the gum, despite the fact that my dad has been addicted to it for 6 months now. So my official quit day is June 22nd. 6 days away. I'm going to mentally prepare myself in the meantime, and make sure I stock up on the gum, as well as plenty of regular gum and other things to chew on.
I have to say that Brian has been an inspiration to me. Keep it up hun! I'm with ya! We'll beat this nicotine demon!
So now, this won't just be a place to read the rants of a mentally imbalanced writer, it'll be the place to read rants by a mentally imbalanced writer who is also nicking. :) Should be an interesting ride.
Ok, this post may seem odd considering my last post. But let me start by saying, I know cigarettes will kill me. I know it's a dirty habit and I shouldn't do it. That, however, does not change my opinion of the ban in New York. I still feel that the government is stepping on the toes of citizens. I still feel some rights are being squashed in favor of others. That being said...
I'm quitting. I know, go ahead, let your jaws hit the floor. I've been going through some rough times the past couple of months, and I didn't post about it. Now I feel that I can. Without getting too graphic, I was (and am) experiencing problems with my female plumbing. My monthly friend was acting very strangely. My doctor gave me a laundry list of possible reasons, one of which being the Big C. Of course, she felt that that was unlikely, but wanted to give me as much information as possible. Yesterday I went for my tests. She feels that it's nothing more than my body adjusting to my switch in bith control methods. But I'll have to wait for the test results to be completely sure. I made a deal with God the night before my appointment. I told him to get me through this without a life threatening illness and still able to have more children, and I'd never smoke again.
So here I am. It was pretty funny, I smoked the last cigarette in my pack just before getting to my doctor. I said it would be my last. My night went ok. My dad gave me a piece of his nicotine gum and told me to use it if I needed it. I got advice from Brian, who is on day 4 of his own hell week. I thought I could do it, no problem. Hell, I didn't even pop the gum last night. (Though I did do a shot of Nyquil, got to sleep fine. Thanks B!) :) This morning I pulled into the gas station. Told the guy to fill it up. Sat there, tapping my foot. Salivating over the thought of a cigarette. And I caved. I told him to throw in a pack of butts. I've had 3 today. Told myself I would give the rest of the pack to Fran when I got home. He'll never quit. He'll smoke 'em.
Then I remembered a commercial I had heard on the radio a few times. For NJ Quit Net (www.njquitnet.com). So I checked out the site. I joined. Not that I think this site alone will get me to kick the habit, but I can tell it will be helpful. Considering how much time I spend online, I have plenty of people who are going through it with me to talk to. Lots of tips on the site. And even a counter that will tell me how many cigarettes I *haven't* smoked, how much money I've saved, and how many days I've added on to my life. I learned that just saying you're going to quit and stopping isn't exactly the way to go. I learned that the best way for me to be successful is to use a medication to help me stop. I'm going to use the gum, despite the fact that my dad has been addicted to it for 6 months now. So my official quit day is June 22nd. 6 days away. I'm going to mentally prepare myself in the meantime, and make sure I stock up on the gum, as well as plenty of regular gum and other things to chew on.
I have to say that Brian has been an inspiration to me. Keep it up hun! I'm with ya! We'll beat this nicotine demon!
So now, this won't just be a place to read the rants of a mentally imbalanced writer, it'll be the place to read rants by a mentally imbalanced writer who is also nicking. :) Should be an interesting ride.
posted by Meghan at 3:24 PM
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home