Meghan Needs Her Meds
Howdy folks, sorry it's been awhile. Things have been insane as always. I'm noticing more and more that my meds really were doing their job. I know I've got pregnant hormones rolling around, but I've noticed the old me coming out a lot lately. And I don't like it. I think once I'm safely in my second trimester I'll be going back on the meds. I know I said I didn't want to drug the baby up, but sometimes you have to look at the lesser evil. I may not make it without them.
The doc has already said she has no problem with me taking them. She said it was most important to keep myself healthy...and right now, I'm just not. I've sunk back down into that sewage level of my brain. Don't go out, don't talk much to friends, don't talk much to my own husband. I've been wasting away here the last couple of weeks. And now I have something to keep myself down.
Got the results of some blood tests back. Turns out I'm a carrier for cystic fibrosis. Now Fran has to get tested. If he turns out to be a carrier, this baby has a 1 in 4 chance of having the disease. If he's not, it has a 50% chance of being a carrier, like me. This all comes as a shock to me as no member of my family has ever had the disease. At least not the last few generations.
So it's too early to panic. Fran gets tested on Monday. It'll probably take a good week for the results. If he's a carrier, the next step is to get an amnio done to find out if the baby has it. They say the step after that, if the baby indeed has CF, is to decide whether or not we want to go through with the pregnancy. Not for nothin, but I'm in my third month, I've seen the sonogram, no way in hell am I not having this baby. So for me, it's more or less I need to know so I can prepare myself. I don't know how Fran feels on this point, he doesn't like to discuss things like this until it's necessary. I'm hoping that if it does turn out this way, he agrees with me.
But I am probably worrying myself for nothing right? I mean, what are the odds? But my fucked up brain doesn't see things that way. It grabs hold and just disects and analyzes until I'm ready to jump off a building. That's where the meds come in. They calm me down. Help me to think like a "normal" person.
Anyway, that's what's been going through my head the last couple of days. Of course I'll let you know as I find out more. For right now, all I ask is that if you pray, throw one in for the baby, if you can.
As always, thanks for listening to me rant.
Howdy folks, sorry it's been awhile. Things have been insane as always. I'm noticing more and more that my meds really were doing their job. I know I've got pregnant hormones rolling around, but I've noticed the old me coming out a lot lately. And I don't like it. I think once I'm safely in my second trimester I'll be going back on the meds. I know I said I didn't want to drug the baby up, but sometimes you have to look at the lesser evil. I may not make it without them.
The doc has already said she has no problem with me taking them. She said it was most important to keep myself healthy...and right now, I'm just not. I've sunk back down into that sewage level of my brain. Don't go out, don't talk much to friends, don't talk much to my own husband. I've been wasting away here the last couple of weeks. And now I have something to keep myself down.
Got the results of some blood tests back. Turns out I'm a carrier for cystic fibrosis. Now Fran has to get tested. If he turns out to be a carrier, this baby has a 1 in 4 chance of having the disease. If he's not, it has a 50% chance of being a carrier, like me. This all comes as a shock to me as no member of my family has ever had the disease. At least not the last few generations.
So it's too early to panic. Fran gets tested on Monday. It'll probably take a good week for the results. If he's a carrier, the next step is to get an amnio done to find out if the baby has it. They say the step after that, if the baby indeed has CF, is to decide whether or not we want to go through with the pregnancy. Not for nothin, but I'm in my third month, I've seen the sonogram, no way in hell am I not having this baby. So for me, it's more or less I need to know so I can prepare myself. I don't know how Fran feels on this point, he doesn't like to discuss things like this until it's necessary. I'm hoping that if it does turn out this way, he agrees with me.
But I am probably worrying myself for nothing right? I mean, what are the odds? But my fucked up brain doesn't see things that way. It grabs hold and just disects and analyzes until I'm ready to jump off a building. That's where the meds come in. They calm me down. Help me to think like a "normal" person.
Anyway, that's what's been going through my head the last couple of days. Of course I'll let you know as I find out more. For right now, all I ask is that if you pray, throw one in for the baby, if you can.
As always, thanks for listening to me rant.
posted by Meghan at 4:38 PM
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