Back On The Wagon
Well, I'm back on the crazy pills. As much as I hate HAVING to be on meds, I know it's the right thing to do. I'm just a mess without them. I'm tired of hurting my family and feeling so low all the time. I've heard both sides of the argument from my friends. Some say I should be on them, some say I'll never get better as long as I'm on them. All I know is, I need something to ground me. I fly off the handle at every little thing, and having a baby to take care of has made it worse. I'd never do anything to physically hurt my family, but it's the mental stress I'm putting them through that hurts. I'm either screaming at something as stupid as dropping the butter knife, or crying about nothing at all. I'm tired of living this way.
So I started back up today. I'm starting on the low dose for a week, like I did last time. This way my body slowly adjusts. So I had a half a pill this morning and a half this evening. Already my stomach is queasy and I'm all anxious and hyper. This happened last time too. I should be feeling better in a couple of days. For now, I'm riding it out. I know that eventually I'll start enjoying life again, get my patience back, and generally have a more positive attitude.
I really should start seeing a shrink too, at least for a little while. I was doing so good with Chris, but she doesn't accept my insurance and I can't afford her fees. She always offers to reduce them to whatever I can afford, but I feel like that's taking advantage. Commerce has a really good employee improvement program. They offer 6 sessions for free and it's totally anonymous. No one would know I was using it. I have to say, Commerce is a very employee friendly company. I know I just completed training and haven't worked in the branch yet, but I've heard so many positive things. I'm really glad things worked out this way.
Speaking of training, I aced my tests. My oral test I got a 100 and my final 100 as well. I got a 96 on my first test, so I guess that means I'm an official customer service rep! I go in for branch observation on Thursday. I'm actually excited, but nervous. I really want to do a good job. This is the kind of company that I can grow with and see myself with for a very long time. Who woulda thought it?
Well, I've droned on long enough. But I'm so not sleepy, so it looks like I'm off to club pogo to play mahjong!
Till next time...
Well, I'm back on the crazy pills. As much as I hate HAVING to be on meds, I know it's the right thing to do. I'm just a mess without them. I'm tired of hurting my family and feeling so low all the time. I've heard both sides of the argument from my friends. Some say I should be on them, some say I'll never get better as long as I'm on them. All I know is, I need something to ground me. I fly off the handle at every little thing, and having a baby to take care of has made it worse. I'd never do anything to physically hurt my family, but it's the mental stress I'm putting them through that hurts. I'm either screaming at something as stupid as dropping the butter knife, or crying about nothing at all. I'm tired of living this way.
So I started back up today. I'm starting on the low dose for a week, like I did last time. This way my body slowly adjusts. So I had a half a pill this morning and a half this evening. Already my stomach is queasy and I'm all anxious and hyper. This happened last time too. I should be feeling better in a couple of days. For now, I'm riding it out. I know that eventually I'll start enjoying life again, get my patience back, and generally have a more positive attitude.
I really should start seeing a shrink too, at least for a little while. I was doing so good with Chris, but she doesn't accept my insurance and I can't afford her fees. She always offers to reduce them to whatever I can afford, but I feel like that's taking advantage. Commerce has a really good employee improvement program. They offer 6 sessions for free and it's totally anonymous. No one would know I was using it. I have to say, Commerce is a very employee friendly company. I know I just completed training and haven't worked in the branch yet, but I've heard so many positive things. I'm really glad things worked out this way.
Speaking of training, I aced my tests. My oral test I got a 100 and my final 100 as well. I got a 96 on my first test, so I guess that means I'm an official customer service rep! I go in for branch observation on Thursday. I'm actually excited, but nervous. I really want to do a good job. This is the kind of company that I can grow with and see myself with for a very long time. Who woulda thought it?
Well, I've droned on long enough. But I'm so not sleepy, so it looks like I'm off to club pogo to play mahjong!
Till next time...
posted by Meghan at 10:18 PM
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home