Fuckin' Virginia
You know, back in the day, me and VA had a nice relationship. My parents would take us to Virginia Beach just about every summer. I loved it there. It was like a second home. I knew that tourist town like the back of my hand. Funny how things can turn upside down so quickly.
The first evidence I got that VA was turning against me was the summer before I entered high school. We were vacationing in VA Beach like usual. I'm not going to get into gory details and start off in a different rant direction, so let's just leave it as I met some unsavory characters who made me learn real quick just how important it is for women to ALWAYS use their heads and be cautious. My family vacationed there a few times after that, but it was never the same. (Side note: One of the trips thereafter I took a friend with me. Unknown to me was that she had head lice at the time, and we shared a pillow in the back seat of the car on the way down. Need I say more? *shudder*)
Last summer my husband and I decided to take our daughter camping. We chose Williamsburg VA because of all the historic sites in the area, not to mention Busch Gardens, of course. Halfway down the drive it started raining, and it didn't really let up all weekend. We put our tent up in the rain, BBQed in the rain, toured historic sites in the rain, and rode on lots of coasters in the rain. Granted, there were very few lines, but still, being wet for three days straight got to us. The kicker was our brand new tent just couldn't keep up and we woke up the third night floating in our own little pond. This set my husband over the edge.
So we broke down and got a cabin for the rest of that night. Of course the roof leaked and we still weren't able to keep dry. We took off the next day, a day earlier than planned. The rain was the worst part of the trip, but believe me, there were plenty of other annoyances. Like no restaurants being open passed 9:00 and there being nothing but fucking Waffle Houses wherever you go. So we left VA behind and vowed never to vacation there again.
Enter Matt Warner. :) He lives outside of DC in Falls Church, VA. He decides to throw a shindig this weekend and Fran and I can't resist a party. So we decided to make the 4 1/2 hour ride and brave VA once again. Well, despite perfectly good directions, we end up in the DC ghetto. If you have never been, I don't recommend checking it out. We must have been riding around for a half hour before we finally found a gas station to get directions. Ok, we weren't far...we could get back on track easily.
Enter the pothole. Let me tell you something about the highways in Maryland, DC, and VA, they are all giant FUCKING potholes! You couldn't swerve around one without hitting another. Ah yes, state tax dollars hard at work! Needless to say we hit the biggest one (about the size of our car) and blew out a tire. And did I forget to mention it was raining the whole ride down? So there we are, on the side of pothole highway, fixing a flat. A friend from NY was accompanying us on the road trip and I have to thank God, Buddha, Ala, or whoever the fuck is in charge for that. Fran and I actually took the situation with a good sense of humor and didn't attempt to kill each other. We agreed that our friend should move in with us because we're actually able to behave and be civil to each other around him.
Ok, stupid cheap donut is now on. We finally hit the road again and make it to Matt's without any further incidents. Though we did see three other cars on the side of the road with flats. Fran couldn't feel comfortable until he got a real tire back on the car, so he immediately took off in search of someone who would do it at 4:00 in the afternoon on a Saturday. He came back a couple hours later with the job done, and over $150 poorer. That brings us back to that fucking car I hate. The stupid stick shift that I'm too frustrated with to bother trying anymore. I haven't attempted to drive that car in months, now I have to put on a super special expensive tire in order to match the others. God I hate that car. But I digress.
Thankfully the rest of the evening went well. Good food, lots of booze, and friends I don't get to see nearly enough. We made it back home ok. Fran has learned how to master the potholes from hell. But we agreed again...no more trips to VA. Period. End of story.
You know, back in the day, me and VA had a nice relationship. My parents would take us to Virginia Beach just about every summer. I loved it there. It was like a second home. I knew that tourist town like the back of my hand. Funny how things can turn upside down so quickly.
The first evidence I got that VA was turning against me was the summer before I entered high school. We were vacationing in VA Beach like usual. I'm not going to get into gory details and start off in a different rant direction, so let's just leave it as I met some unsavory characters who made me learn real quick just how important it is for women to ALWAYS use their heads and be cautious. My family vacationed there a few times after that, but it was never the same. (Side note: One of the trips thereafter I took a friend with me. Unknown to me was that she had head lice at the time, and we shared a pillow in the back seat of the car on the way down. Need I say more? *shudder*)
Last summer my husband and I decided to take our daughter camping. We chose Williamsburg VA because of all the historic sites in the area, not to mention Busch Gardens, of course. Halfway down the drive it started raining, and it didn't really let up all weekend. We put our tent up in the rain, BBQed in the rain, toured historic sites in the rain, and rode on lots of coasters in the rain. Granted, there were very few lines, but still, being wet for three days straight got to us. The kicker was our brand new tent just couldn't keep up and we woke up the third night floating in our own little pond. This set my husband over the edge.
So we broke down and got a cabin for the rest of that night. Of course the roof leaked and we still weren't able to keep dry. We took off the next day, a day earlier than planned. The rain was the worst part of the trip, but believe me, there were plenty of other annoyances. Like no restaurants being open passed 9:00 and there being nothing but fucking Waffle Houses wherever you go. So we left VA behind and vowed never to vacation there again.
Enter Matt Warner. :) He lives outside of DC in Falls Church, VA. He decides to throw a shindig this weekend and Fran and I can't resist a party. So we decided to make the 4 1/2 hour ride and brave VA once again. Well, despite perfectly good directions, we end up in the DC ghetto. If you have never been, I don't recommend checking it out. We must have been riding around for a half hour before we finally found a gas station to get directions. Ok, we weren't far...we could get back on track easily.
Enter the pothole. Let me tell you something about the highways in Maryland, DC, and VA, they are all giant FUCKING potholes! You couldn't swerve around one without hitting another. Ah yes, state tax dollars hard at work! Needless to say we hit the biggest one (about the size of our car) and blew out a tire. And did I forget to mention it was raining the whole ride down? So there we are, on the side of pothole highway, fixing a flat. A friend from NY was accompanying us on the road trip and I have to thank God, Buddha, Ala, or whoever the fuck is in charge for that. Fran and I actually took the situation with a good sense of humor and didn't attempt to kill each other. We agreed that our friend should move in with us because we're actually able to behave and be civil to each other around him.
Ok, stupid cheap donut is now on. We finally hit the road again and make it to Matt's without any further incidents. Though we did see three other cars on the side of the road with flats. Fran couldn't feel comfortable until he got a real tire back on the car, so he immediately took off in search of someone who would do it at 4:00 in the afternoon on a Saturday. He came back a couple hours later with the job done, and over $150 poorer. That brings us back to that fucking car I hate. The stupid stick shift that I'm too frustrated with to bother trying anymore. I haven't attempted to drive that car in months, now I have to put on a super special expensive tire in order to match the others. God I hate that car. But I digress.
Thankfully the rest of the evening went well. Good food, lots of booze, and friends I don't get to see nearly enough. We made it back home ok. Fran has learned how to master the potholes from hell. But we agreed again...no more trips to VA. Period. End of story.
posted by Meghan at 10:41 AM
<< Home