Hell Week - Day One: God Has A Sick Sense Of Humor

I had my last cigarette at 11:30 last night, before bed. I woke up to the alarm this morning, shut it off, and crawled back into bed. I just didn't want to start my day. My mother ended up coming over to ask me if I was ever getting out of bed around 8. Shit. I got up and flew through my shower. Got Kimi to summer camp and headed to work. All the while I was trying to ignore the fact that today, I'm quitting smoking.

I kept the window rolled down and the radio up. I chewed on a straw and tried to keep my mind on a story I started yesterday. Everything was going pretty well, until I approached the exit for rt. 17. Why were there a line of cars just stopped there? Fuck.

So I sat there, not moving, for about ten minutes. Then we crept forward about three feet, if that. And it went on like that for a half hour. Every minute that went by I obsessed even more about a cigarette. I told myself, "See, if I had my smokes with me, I wouldn't be so anxious about being stuck in traffic." But I didn't have any smokes on me, and I wasn't about to leave my car on the exit ramp and walk to the nearest store. heh

I started to get really angry. Of course this would happen on a day where I was already running late and I needed to get out early this afternoon to take care of some errands. This WOULD happen on the day I CAN'T SMOKE! Finally the traffic started moving and I saw that the holdup was a slow moving dump truck with a guy hanging out of it plopping cones down the middle of the right lane. Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.

I finally get to work. I announce to my boss that I have quit smoking and it would be best for him to stay away from me today. He nods in understanding. I rant to my co-worker about the traffic and about how bad I want a cigarette. She has never smoked in her life, she says to not think about it and have a mint. Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.

I get into my office and turn on the computer. I'm not here more than five minutes when my editor comes in and starts going on and on about how I need to make sure everything is filed and easily findable once I'm gone. Duh. Meanwhile, I still have another 3 weeks in this dump. (Yeah, I had to move my last day to Aug. 7th...grrrrrrrrr). Grrrrrrrrrrr.

Suddenly the loud mouth two offices down who I'm used to having to hear all day is pushing me to consider going postal. She just sits on that phone yapping and yapping, her voice is like a drill boring into my brain. Why can't she talk in normal tones? Soon she and the big boss will start arguing about something or another. They do this in their separate offices, my office and two others are between them. They don't do it over the phone or intercom. They just shout at each other from their offices. This has always made my skin crawl. Today I might just do what I've always dreamed of. Screaming "Shut the fuck up!" at the top of my lungs. Grrrrrrrrrrrr.

No, I'm not cranky. I'm LIVID. At what? I don't know. But I can guarantee you anything that doesn't go smoothly today will push me further and further until I explode on the ones most near and dear to me when I get home tonight. I really don't want that to happen. But they are all prepared for the possibilities.

Healthwise I'm not doing too bad. My throat is a little sore and I'm coughing a bit, but that could just be from my allergies. I'm starving though. I have a feeling that I'll be gorging on lunch. Sigh. There goes the diet.

Anyhoo, that's all I have to report so far. I'll be sure to pop back on if anything interesting happens, like me bitch-slapping the loud mouth or getting kicked out of Bennigans for emptying out their kitchen.