Happy New Year!
Ok, I know, it's a little late, but whatever.
Had myself a very mellow New Years. Worked New Years Day at TI. The holidays just weren't as exciting as usual this year. I'm sure my financial troubles and crappy retail job had a lot to do with it, but it's more than that. Now that I have a child, Christmas is all about her, and next year, I'll have 2 to celebrate with. And that's fine...it's normally a lot of fun. I prefer watching the way my daughter's face lights up when she sees all the presents under the tree to getting any presents of my own. However, I've always been excited for myself as well. I'm probably not explaining this in any way that makes sense. Lemme try...
For the past 8 Christmasses I've not only had the joy of giving my daughter Christmas, but I've truly been touched by the Christmas spirit myself. I loved everything from picking out presents at crowded shopping malls, to wrapping, to decorating the house, to opening presents at midnight on Christmas Eve with my husband's family. I'd get this feeling weeks before Christmas that would build and build until I went to bed Christmas Eve with so much excitement that I couldn't bear it. I'd get the giggles and fall asleep with a huge smile on my face, ready to get up at the crack of dawn to celebrate. And it was more than just presents. It was the traditional blueberry pancake breakfast my father had made for the past 20 something years, it was having family over for dinner, and going to my Aunt's for dessert. It was all the Christmas specials on TV and the carols on the radio. I soaked it all in. And it lasted straight through past new years.
But this year it was different. I loathed shopping for presents, and the list was mighty small this year since our finances were so awful. I hated wrapping. I couldn't stand to listen to carols. I didn't watch one special on TV. I dreaded getting out of bed Christmas morning because all I wanted to do was sleep. It still made me smile to see my daughter excited and I did put on a happy face for her. But there was definitely something missing. I hope it was a fluke and that next year I'll be back to my old self. I'd hate to become a Scrooge.
Anyway, enough of that. Started the nanny job this week. It's much better than TI, but still tiring. The kids are cute, and for the most part, behave well. The true test will be when their mom actually goes out. Right now I'm just helping take care of the 3 year old while she tends to the newborn. I have to work at TI tonight. I'm still there 2 days a week. I fear I'll never get out of there. I absolutely dread going in.
I'm getting anxious about the baby. I have 3 months left to wait and it's driving me crazy! Time seems to be dragging. I was in the hospital this morning for some routine tests and I couldn't help but think about how I'll be back there in 3 months to deliver. That got me excited, so of course, I'm getting impatient. We haven't even started the nursery yet, so it's not like I don't have anything to keep me busy, but still. The last trimester is the hardest because you feel so ready, but you're not. Getting to see a newborn on a regular basis doesn't help. I thought it would tide me over, but it just makes me want to hold me own more. But I'd rather be impatient for 3 months than have him too early. I know there would be problems if I had him now.
Ok, I gotta get ready for hell job. Till next time...
Ok, I know, it's a little late, but whatever.
Had myself a very mellow New Years. Worked New Years Day at TI. The holidays just weren't as exciting as usual this year. I'm sure my financial troubles and crappy retail job had a lot to do with it, but it's more than that. Now that I have a child, Christmas is all about her, and next year, I'll have 2 to celebrate with. And that's fine...it's normally a lot of fun. I prefer watching the way my daughter's face lights up when she sees all the presents under the tree to getting any presents of my own. However, I've always been excited for myself as well. I'm probably not explaining this in any way that makes sense. Lemme try...
For the past 8 Christmasses I've not only had the joy of giving my daughter Christmas, but I've truly been touched by the Christmas spirit myself. I loved everything from picking out presents at crowded shopping malls, to wrapping, to decorating the house, to opening presents at midnight on Christmas Eve with my husband's family. I'd get this feeling weeks before Christmas that would build and build until I went to bed Christmas Eve with so much excitement that I couldn't bear it. I'd get the giggles and fall asleep with a huge smile on my face, ready to get up at the crack of dawn to celebrate. And it was more than just presents. It was the traditional blueberry pancake breakfast my father had made for the past 20 something years, it was having family over for dinner, and going to my Aunt's for dessert. It was all the Christmas specials on TV and the carols on the radio. I soaked it all in. And it lasted straight through past new years.
But this year it was different. I loathed shopping for presents, and the list was mighty small this year since our finances were so awful. I hated wrapping. I couldn't stand to listen to carols. I didn't watch one special on TV. I dreaded getting out of bed Christmas morning because all I wanted to do was sleep. It still made me smile to see my daughter excited and I did put on a happy face for her. But there was definitely something missing. I hope it was a fluke and that next year I'll be back to my old self. I'd hate to become a Scrooge.
Anyway, enough of that. Started the nanny job this week. It's much better than TI, but still tiring. The kids are cute, and for the most part, behave well. The true test will be when their mom actually goes out. Right now I'm just helping take care of the 3 year old while she tends to the newborn. I have to work at TI tonight. I'm still there 2 days a week. I fear I'll never get out of there. I absolutely dread going in.
I'm getting anxious about the baby. I have 3 months left to wait and it's driving me crazy! Time seems to be dragging. I was in the hospital this morning for some routine tests and I couldn't help but think about how I'll be back there in 3 months to deliver. That got me excited, so of course, I'm getting impatient. We haven't even started the nursery yet, so it's not like I don't have anything to keep me busy, but still. The last trimester is the hardest because you feel so ready, but you're not. Getting to see a newborn on a regular basis doesn't help. I thought it would tide me over, but it just makes me want to hold me own more. But I'd rather be impatient for 3 months than have him too early. I know there would be problems if I had him now.
Ok, I gotta get ready for hell job. Till next time...
posted by Meghan at 3:50 PM
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