Things Are Getting Real Now
Ok, so I've been carrying this baby for 33 weeks and 4 days. I thought that I was mentally, emotionally, and physically prepared. I've done this before, not like I have no clue what I'm doing. But as my due date approaches, it seems that things are becoming more real. The baby is big enough now where there are no more real kicks, but a lot of stretching and such. He's running out of room, and I'm running out of time. His nursery is still my office. I've picked out the paint color, bought the stencils, registered for the furniture, and picked out the carpet. But I've yet to start putting it all together. My shower is fast approaching...it's not a surprise. So I know soon my house will be filled with baby stuff. My doctor visits are every 2 weeks, and after the next one, will be every week. I now look like a whale about to burst and people who were coming up to me only a few weeks ago saying, "you barely look pregnant" are now saying, "whoa! Where did that belly come from?" D-day is fast approaching. I've been complaining for the last 7 months that this pregnancy was dragging. Now I'm starting to panic that I'll go into labor...and not be ready.
He's got the hiccups right now. My stomach is rythmically bouncing. If I eat a piece of chocolate, he starts to roll around like crazy. If I press my hand against my stomach, eventually a foot or elboy tries to force it off. He'll jump when he hears my voice, and seems to know when my husband, daughter, and mother are in the room. He already has a personality. I feel like I know him. Then why am I so nervous to see him?
On the one hand, I can't wait to hold and cuddle him. To do the things so many people take for granted, feed him, change him, put a cute outfit on him, sing to him, or just hold him and stare at him. I love him so much already that I feel like I'm going to burst sometimes. But at the same time, I'm scared. Scared that something will go wrong before he's born or during delivery. Scared that I won't be able to handle two children. Scared that I won't be a good enough mother. And then there's the fact that he's safe from the harsh world there in my womb. Once he's out, it's up to me to keep him from harm. There's so much responsibility involved...am I up to the task?
I've been reading lots of books and articles online. I know that everything I'm feeling is normal and blah blah. Doesn't make it any easier, or the feelings less real. We're getting down to the wire now folks...and that scares the hell out of me. But I'm lucky to have a circle of friends and family that is full of love and support. Without you guys, I'd be a COMPLETE basketcase. I love you all!
Ok, hallmark moment over. Thanks for listening.
Ok, so I've been carrying this baby for 33 weeks and 4 days. I thought that I was mentally, emotionally, and physically prepared. I've done this before, not like I have no clue what I'm doing. But as my due date approaches, it seems that things are becoming more real. The baby is big enough now where there are no more real kicks, but a lot of stretching and such. He's running out of room, and I'm running out of time. His nursery is still my office. I've picked out the paint color, bought the stencils, registered for the furniture, and picked out the carpet. But I've yet to start putting it all together. My shower is fast approaching...it's not a surprise. So I know soon my house will be filled with baby stuff. My doctor visits are every 2 weeks, and after the next one, will be every week. I now look like a whale about to burst and people who were coming up to me only a few weeks ago saying, "you barely look pregnant" are now saying, "whoa! Where did that belly come from?" D-day is fast approaching. I've been complaining for the last 7 months that this pregnancy was dragging. Now I'm starting to panic that I'll go into labor...and not be ready.
He's got the hiccups right now. My stomach is rythmically bouncing. If I eat a piece of chocolate, he starts to roll around like crazy. If I press my hand against my stomach, eventually a foot or elboy tries to force it off. He'll jump when he hears my voice, and seems to know when my husband, daughter, and mother are in the room. He already has a personality. I feel like I know him. Then why am I so nervous to see him?
On the one hand, I can't wait to hold and cuddle him. To do the things so many people take for granted, feed him, change him, put a cute outfit on him, sing to him, or just hold him and stare at him. I love him so much already that I feel like I'm going to burst sometimes. But at the same time, I'm scared. Scared that something will go wrong before he's born or during delivery. Scared that I won't be able to handle two children. Scared that I won't be a good enough mother. And then there's the fact that he's safe from the harsh world there in my womb. Once he's out, it's up to me to keep him from harm. There's so much responsibility involved...am I up to the task?
I've been reading lots of books and articles online. I know that everything I'm feeling is normal and blah blah. Doesn't make it any easier, or the feelings less real. We're getting down to the wire now folks...and that scares the hell out of me. But I'm lucky to have a circle of friends and family that is full of love and support. Without you guys, I'd be a COMPLETE basketcase. I love you all!
Ok, hallmark moment over. Thanks for listening.
posted by Meghan at 1:26 PM
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