CSR World

Today was my first "official" day at Commerce since passing the training course. Though I wasn't much help. I just sorta watched. But at least I got to see a variety of things I'll be doing, from opening accounts, to notarizing, to gift cheque purchases, to IRAs. Never a dull moment and the time flew. Of course I got there a 1/2 hour late because I took two wrong turns. Way to make a first impression, right? But nobody seemed to care. Everyone I'll be working with seems really cool. I think I'm gonna like it there.

In other news, I have a date scheduled for my tubal ligation. I think that's how you spell it. Oh what the hell, I'll call it by what it's more commonly known as...I'm getting my tubes tied on July 12th. I thought long and hard about it. Fran and I just can't afford any more kids, financially or emotionally. And my body just can't afford it physically. Even my doctor agreed it was a good idea, and they don't say that often to 27 year olds. For some reason I get really sick, and then, I get toxemia twice in a row. That's next to impossible. I lucked out this time and Andre was healthy. But I'm not pushing my luck. We have a boy and a girl...what more could I ask for?

The surgery is same day, and they do it with a laser now so recovery time is minimal. In fact, my doctor said I'd be feeling fine by the next day. It's done under general anesthesia and takes about 4 to 5 hours from check in to check out. Not bad at all. I'm a little nervous, it is surgery. But I'm confident that everything will be fine. I really like my doctor. She's the same one who delivered Andre.

Not much else going on at the moment. Still on the crazy pills, though I won't feel much of an effect for another couple of weeks. I'm still a bit queasy, but not too bad. Just enough to make me not very hungry...which helps my diet, so it's fine by me!

Till next time...

Back On The Wagon

Well, I'm back on the crazy pills. As much as I hate HAVING to be on meds, I know it's the right thing to do. I'm just a mess without them. I'm tired of hurting my family and feeling so low all the time. I've heard both sides of the argument from my friends. Some say I should be on them, some say I'll never get better as long as I'm on them. All I know is, I need something to ground me. I fly off the handle at every little thing, and having a baby to take care of has made it worse. I'd never do anything to physically hurt my family, but it's the mental stress I'm putting them through that hurts. I'm either screaming at something as stupid as dropping the butter knife, or crying about nothing at all. I'm tired of living this way.

So I started back up today. I'm starting on the low dose for a week, like I did last time. This way my body slowly adjusts. So I had a half a pill this morning and a half this evening. Already my stomach is queasy and I'm all anxious and hyper. This happened last time too. I should be feeling better in a couple of days. For now, I'm riding it out. I know that eventually I'll start enjoying life again, get my patience back, and generally have a more positive attitude.

I really should start seeing a shrink too, at least for a little while. I was doing so good with Chris, but she doesn't accept my insurance and I can't afford her fees. She always offers to reduce them to whatever I can afford, but I feel like that's taking advantage. Commerce has a really good employee improvement program. They offer 6 sessions for free and it's totally anonymous. No one would know I was using it. I have to say, Commerce is a very employee friendly company. I know I just completed training and haven't worked in the branch yet, but I've heard so many positive things. I'm really glad things worked out this way.

Speaking of training, I aced my tests. My oral test I got a 100 and my final 100 as well. I got a 96 on my first test, so I guess that means I'm an official customer service rep! I go in for branch observation on Thursday. I'm actually excited, but nervous. I really want to do a good job. This is the kind of company that I can grow with and see myself with for a very long time. Who woulda thought it?

Well, I've droned on long enough. But I'm so not sleepy, so it looks like I'm off to club pogo to play mahjong!

Till next time...