For those of you who are wondering, I'm still alive. Feel like shit every day, plow through my day because I have to, try not to stop and think very much. Got a couple of songs that have been running through my head a lot lately, probably because I listen to them 100 times a day. Anyhoo, here's some snippets:
Know - System of a Down
Books all say different things while people flap their yellow wings
trying to soar by being a whore of life and almost everything
the sheep that ran off from the herd may be dead but now's a bird
able to fly able to die able to break your cursed earth
You never think you know why,
Know, You never think you know why,
Know, You never think you know why,
Know, Ever think you know why, Know.
On the other side, on the other side, the other side,
Do you ever try to fly, Do you ever try to fly?
Have you ever wanted to die, you ever want to die?
Don't ever try to fly, don't ever try to fly,
Don't ever try to fly, unless you leave your body on the other side,
Never try to die, you ever try to die.
~
Our Lady Peace - Superman’s Dead
Do you worry that you're not liked
How long till you break
You're happy cause you smile
But how much can you fake
An ordinary boy an ordinary name
But ordinary's just not good enough today
Alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone I'm thinking
Why is superman dead
Is it in my head
We'll just laugh instead
You worry about the weather and
Whether or not you should hate
Are you worried about your faith
Kneel down and obey
You're happy you're in love
You need someone to hate
An ordinary girl an ordinary waist
But ordinary's just not good enough today
~
In other news, I went to a psychic yesterday. She's a customer at the bank and one of my co-workers coerced me into going. (Lovin you El!) If you know anything about me you know that I totally believe in the supernatural, paranormal, and all that. However, I believe that people who truly have a psychic gift do not use it for personal gain. I mean, if you see a neon "open" sign in the window and little "we accept Visa and Mastercard" stickers on the door, you're probably dealing with a fake. But I was told she doesn't charge employees at the bank, so I figured no harm no foul.
So I went in there and she told me we'd be doing a tarot card reading. I didn't tell her that I have studied tarot cards and know how to read them. You don't need to be psyhic to know what the cards mean...it's all luck of the draw. Anyhoo, in a nutshell, she asked me to make two wishes, one I'd keep to myself and one I'd tell her. There's your first piece of evidence that she was a fraud. They need you to tell you something so they can fish for info. So the wish I gave her was for my kids to come out of this trying time ok. So she immediately said, "you lost somebody." Duh. So I said, "kind of." She said, "you're going through a seperation." Bing bing bing! Give the lady a prize. Couldn't be the fact that I'm not wearing a wedding ring and I'm obviously worried about my children. Man, she's good!
She goes on to tell me that the seperation was the best decision for me because he was not on my path and now I'm on my path. She mentioned the names David and Michael. I said I knew no one by those names (two of the most popular male names in this country!) so she told me to just remember those names. Ok, sure. She told me I was destined to have one more child. Hmmm....kinda hard with my tubes tied. So I inform her of this little issue and she quickly rebutted with, you will meet a man with a child, you will have another child through him and you will renew your vows. First off, I plan on never getting married again. I'll live with someone, sure, but I'm not going through this again! So I'm on the lookout for a guy with a kid, his name is either David or Michael. Are you out there?
Oh yeah, October is going to be my month. We shall see. She also mentioned that I'm a quiet person (HA!) that holds my feelings inside. Oh, and I have low self-esteem. Like that isn't hard to guess considering I'm overweight AND going through a seperation. But hey, it was a free reading, so I can't really complain.
Well, I can hear my kids destroying the house downstairs, so I'd better run for now. Yeah, I'm on vacation for the next few days...too bad I have no money to go anywhere. Till next time...
