On A Sour Note

The last few days have been shitty...beyond shitty. So shitty that I wonder what I did in a past life to make this one so fucking shitty.

Let's make a list...in no particular order:

1. Getting sued by a hospital because my insurance refuses to pay a bill it should, and I can't afford to pay it myself.

2. PSE&G is threatening to cut off my gas because the bill is so high, I can't seem to keep on top of it.

3. I lost my best friend for reasons I can't comprehend and it's torn a hole right in my heart.

4. I had to give my cat to a shelter today because I can't keep up with his peeing in the house anymore.

5. The job I work my ass off for doesn't seem to want me to advance, hence no extra money, hence not being able to pay my bills.

6. My parents have to sell their house (it's a duplex, I rent one side) because I can't afford to pay them rent and they can't keep up the mortgage payments without it.

7. Because my parents have to sell the house we all have to move in with my brother in one big house. I can't get my own place because...I CAN'T AFFORD IT!

Those are the big ones, but there are dozens more little things that seem trivial alone but when put together cause quite a bit of depression. How am I supposed to stay positive? I swear, all I need is one more little thing to push me right over the edge into complete insanity.

I'm getting out tonight. Hitting up movie night at my friend Mary's. I just hope I don't bring the evening down with my sourness.

On A Lighter Note

Ok, today I'm not in the mood to sit and whine or bitch or vent or whatever. You guys have had enough of that the past few months. How about some good old-fashioned recommendations. A book, a movie, and a CD. Something for everyone.

Just finished reading Santa Steps Out by Robert Devereaux. I know I know, the book has been out forever and I just got around to it. You should see my "to be read" pile. But I digress. Anyhoo, dug this book a lot. It was both hilarious and creepy. Always a good combo. Fair warning though, if any of you are offended by figures such as Santa and the Tooth Fairy being anything other than wholesome, stay away. heh

Just watched May last night. Again, it's been out for awhile, but my blockbuster online list is huge, so I'm slowly getting to everything. This movie was fabulous! It was eerie and beautiful. Of course I'm sick, so you may disagree with the beautiful part. Jeremy Sisto is in it, and for whatever reason...I love him. heh It was one of those movies that psyched me up and had me grinning. Again...I am sick.

CDwise, you need to pick up Damian Marley's Welcome To Jamrock. I've really been getting into a lot of Raggae, Socca, and Calypso lately. But you don't have to be a raggae fan per-se to enjoy Jamrock. It's a nice blend of raggae/hip hop with some nice cameo appearances. Definitely highly recommended.

Ok, so there ya go. A few things to keep you occupied. Enjoy. I'm off to finish work and get the hell outta here. Later.........

Back From The Dead

Sorry I haven't given you an update since my downward spiral on the pity pot. I'm still here, still breathing, still kicking. I guess that's the one thing about me, no matter how pathetic I get, I still manage to cling on.

That situation with my friend has improved. It gets better every day. Still, it's obvious the friendship has changed. I don't know if we'll ever get back what we had, but for now I'll take what I can get. We made it through something like this once before and ended up even stronger, let's hope the same thing happens in this case.

I just want to add that I didn't mean that last post to bring on dozens of "I understand" and "You're still my friend" emails. That wasn't what I was after. Still, some of you did send thoughts and calls my way, and I wanted to tell you how much I really did appreciate them. I guess I learned that no matter how horrible I think I am, there are some of you out there who really don't see me that way. Though I will never quite understand why...I do thank you for showing me that. :)

I don't have a lot of time to post today. My computer is still on the fritz so I'm stealing a few moments on my dad's. Sorry for the quick update, hopefully I'll get a chance to post more soon.

Until next time...